Test Results

Well today's been a really hard day. We got news that Emily's PDA valve has actually increased in size and so they will be preforming the heart surgery on her tomorrow to close her PDA. So even though they say the sugery doesn't take long and is fairly easy to do, it's always a risk. But I feel that everything will be fine and the doctors are so skilled at what they do.

We also got back Ethan's brain scan today and it was hard to hear the news. It is showing that his brain is bleeding on both sides and is at a level 3 right now out of 4. It's pretty severe they say. The blood that is showing is still in his vessels and hasn't gone outside of that, but he has a really high chance of having mild to severe brain damage which could result in cerebral palsey or other mental or physical disorders when he is older. The nurse practioner said there's really not a lot they can do for this other than monitor him and hope that the blood will be absorbed and not continue to get larger or go outside those vessels. They will do another brain scan on him next week.

Well, that's all the news for now. Ryan and I are heading back down to Utah tomorrow to be with both of them. It's been hard writing this... Thanks again for all your prayers for our family! We love you all!

Oh, and I wanted to add a few pictures of our babies...

This just puts it in perspective of how small their hands and feet are...and actually Emily has quite large feet! One of the nurses said her feet are the biggest she's seen. They for sure got their dad's feet, toes and long fingers! haha!

Emily Jean

Emily snuggling with her blankie under her shades

Emily with my wedding ring around her wrist

Ethan's little foot

Our little Ethan

Another Crazy Day...

It has been two...almost, LONG weeks, as you know at the Hodges home! Today the twins are 9 days old and are stable at this time. I am so grateful for their little spirits and the time I have had with them so far, holding their hands in mine and softly touching their heads. They are fighting hard everday to be here. It has been a roller coaster ride, with so many ups and downs. I have had moments of strength where I know it hasn't come anywhere but our Heavenly Father and all your prayers for our family. And I have had moments of weakness where I just sit and cry my heart out and feel completely useless as my babies struggle every moment to stay alive and miss my other two girls like crazy! Makes me really appreciate the time I do get with them when I see them. :)

Today has been another crazy day, and I thought I would give a quick update as I sit here in the waiting room, waiting for an Echo test to be done on Ethan. An Echo test is a test to check to see if his PDA valve in his heart has closed, or gotten smaller from his 2 rounds of Ibuprofen medicine. If it has closed or is at least showing signs that it has gotten smaller, than he won't have to have sugery to close it, it will do it by itself. But if the size of his PDA valve hasn't changed at all due to the Ibuprofen medicine, then he will have a little heart sugery(which they say it isn't anything to worry about, as it is a simple procedure) in the next two days to close it.

Usually if the valve hasn't closed within three rounds of the Ibuprofen then they do the surgery, but with Ethan they don't want to chance another round, because sometimes, I guess, the Ibuprofen medicine can cause bleeding in the brain and/or other problems. So they are also going to be doing an ultrasound sometime today on Ethan's brain to see if there is any bleeding. So we are just waiting for both these tests to be done and get the results back. We should know by tonight whether or not they will do the surgery.

Some good news is they did an ultrasound on Emily's brain to check if there was any bleeding and hers came back normal, which is great news!!! So we are praying that Ethan's brain scan also comes back normal and also that his PDA valve is either smaller or closed!! Which would honestly be a miracle for his gestation age. Many nurses have told me that Emily and Ethan are really doing good for how early they are and are good size babies for being twins. (It must have been all the broccoli I ate!) Emily is on her last round of medicine for her PDA valve, (which was something different than Ethan's Ibuprofen...sorry, I can't remember all the names of the medicines/treatments that they use!) and she will be having her Echo test done tomorrow sometime.

8 hours later...

OK...so I wrote this earlier today, never getting around to finishing it and posting it. I have some good news and some bad news. First off, the good news...the results came back and Ethan's PDA valve is A LOT smaller!!! Yeah!!! That means, Ethan will not have to have the heart surgery!

Some bad news that came to our family today, is that BOTH Ryan's Grandma (Ryan's mom's mom) and his aunt JerriAnn (who is Ryan's mom's sister) had heart attacks last night. Ryan's mom, Tammy, has been with me since the night I got life flighted into Salt Lake. She has been in Pocatello the last few nights taking care of Madisen and Avery, while I was in Utah, with my mom and the twins. But shortly after getting the news of the heart attacks, Tammy took off to be with her mom. I don't know exactly what the doctors are going to do at this point. Last I heard Grandma Gilmore might have surgery where they put a stint in. And I am not sure what the case is with JerriAnn...I will post another update when I know more. We will be praying for them and hope that everything will be ok. If you could also please add them in your prayers...Thanks so much everyone! We love you all! (I sure hope everyone is doing good... I am sorry I haven't gotten around to checking more of your blogs out!)

Twin Update

Each day Ryan and I learn something new about the care our twins are getting. "A new language" almost, as my mother-in-law put it. From new treatments, case studies they are doing, and deciding whether or not we want our babies in them. Learning about the different machines they are hooked up to and what they do for the twins, or tests they have had. There are heart and lung problems, blood transfusions, new drugs, case studies, etc. There's just a lot of things I am trying to understand, most of the time I feel totally incompetent as I don't understand "doctor" language and it goes right over my head! I've been trying to understand the best I can what it is Emily and Ethan are going through. It's a little clearer to Ryan just because he is in the Physicain Assistant Program and is already learning a lot of this medical lingo. I write all this to let all you know that I sometimes don't know exactly myself what they are doing with the twins. I have a basic understanding of what they are going through or the treatments they are getting, but overall I don't or can't fully grasps the studies or things that are happening to them but I do know they are in good hands and that they are fighters!

So from now on, I'll just tell you in layman's terms... they are stable and doing pretty good!

Ryan's mom, Tammy, who is staying with me, wrote on her blog a little about this and I thought I would just quote her, "One of the blessings of being in a University Hospital is that they(nurses and doctors) have learned so much that can benefit your children. One of the downfalls is that they also want to study your children. I guess you can't have one without the other. When I was here 30 years ago they did the same thing only it was me and my pregnancy they wanted to study. Knowledge can't be gained without observing."

Now for some PICTURES!!!

Emily with Daddy Emily and my hand touching her head, gives you an idea of how small her head is.

Emily on her tummy...the nurse says she prefers her tummy. ;)

Grandma, me and Ethan ...whispering, "Go Ethan!"

Little Ethan...he likes his shades! ;)

Emily has several different machines hooked up to her incubator.

Ethan's little hand

Ethan

Ryan and I are SO grateful for the nurses here at the University of Utah, that take such good care of Ethan and Emily. They are so good with these tiny infants and are so sweet to us and so good with our babies. We feel very blessed to have such great friends and family, that have been so supportive and helpful through all of this. It would be hard to go through this without the gospel and all of your love and prayers!

My last belly shot!

I thought I would post this picture of me as it was the last pregnancy picture taken before the twins were born. This picture was taken a few hours before we went in for our final ultrasound with the twins... The day that I got life flighted to Salt Lake. (April 15th)

Madisen turns 4!

We wanted to wish Madisen a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! She was born at 12:59pm, April 21, 2005! We can't believe she is 4 years old! We celebrated her birthday here at the hospital yesterday and had presents and a birthday cake for her.This picture of Grandpa Hodges and Madi is so cute! Grandpa got Madi a Zebra, and she loved it! Thanks Grandpa! Grandma Graf also got Madi a fun jump rope,Dr. Sues book, and cute puppy dog that barks and wags his tail. Thanks Mom and Bob for the gifts! Here Grandpa Hodges and Madi play jump rope together. Madi says, "We need a friend to jump!"

And Grandpa and Grandma Newman got Madi some little twin ponies. Thanks mom and dad! Madisen sure is loved!!!Madi also got a surprise present...it's Avery!Mommy and MadiThis picture was taken the day after Madisen was born. I only got to hold her for a few minutes, because she had to be on oxygen and several other monitors since she was 6 weeks early, weighing 4lbs. 14 oz. We thought when she was born that she was just so tiny, which she was, but now after seeing the twins and how small they are compared to Madi, she was pretty good size.
We love you Madisen!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Surprise! They're here!

Hey, this is Ryan with some very crazy news. Christy and I were sitting in the hospital on Sunday when we were asked whether or not we wanted to attend sacrament meeting here at the hospital. We thought it would be a great idea, seeing as we can only escape the room once a day for a half-hour wheelchair ride. So Christy got some makeup on really quickly and went to use the bathroom when I heard her yell frantically for me. I ran to the bathroom to see what had happened. Christy told me that she felt something bulging down below. I hurredly called the nurses over and we loaded Christy up on a gurney and ran down the hall to the labor and delivery section of the hospital.

Right away we knew these babies were coming out a little earlier than anyone expected. The decision was made by the doctors to deliver the twin via C-section ASAP. I was rushed out of the room (fighting and screaming) and Christy was given general anasthetic, knocking her completely out. I paced back and forth in the recovery room for the next hour. It was easily the longest hour of my life. I kept going through it all in my mind trying to understand what was going on and what were the possible outcomes.

Soon the delivering doctor came in and told me that Christy was doing really well (she's a little doped up, but she's doing just great) and both the twins were in critical but stable condition. We are a little stunned and shocked right now, especially not knowing how thing will turn out with the twins. We named them Emily Jean Hodges (1 lb. 4 oz., born 11:08 am April 19th) and Ethan Ryan Hodges (1 lb. 7 oz., born 11:11 am April 19th). We are grateful for the time we have with them and hope that we can have many years to come with them.

We also wanted to express our love and appreciation to each of you for your prayers and thoughts. We plead with you to continue praying for the sweet little twins and for Christy.

Ethan Ryan Hodges

Emily Jean Hodges

Many Firsts! An ambulance ride, a jet plane journey and preterm labor!

Some of you have noticed that the poll on the right side of our blog at guessing the gender of our twins, has counted down the days over and over again at least 4 times now. At 13 weeks we found out what ONE of the babies is. I was going to announce it on our blog soon after, but I really wanted to announce them together since they are coming together. So I decided to wait until we found out what they both were. Each visit and ultrasound I had after that they just couldn't tell what the sex of the other baby is. Another month would pass, and again, they couldn't tell what the baby was.

Well at yesterday's ultrasound, not only did we finally find out what we are having, but this ultrasound started a new juorney for us that totally took us for a loop!

Everything was looking great with both babies, the heart, lungs, they both had the right amount of fingers and toes and belly botton holes. :) At the end of the appointment the ultrasound tech wanted to check my cervic with a vaginal ultrasound, but what came next was such a shock, that not even the ultrasound lady could keep a poker face. She let out a little "gasp", and a look of horror washed over her face. Followed by, "Ummm... I need to go talk to your doctor right now." We asked her what was wrong, and her reply was a stuttering, "Uh, well, umm, I, uh, your cervix... is not.... showing as much as it's... supposed to." And out of the room she flew!

As you can imagine Ryan and I were completely dumfounded and also confused and scared as to what the heck was going on. The doctor comes in and says immediately that I am to be life flighted to Salt Lake and hope these babies stay put before I get there!

"WHAT!?!"

I guess my cervix had dilated to a 3, and the baby's foot was down in the birth canal! I knew that I was feeling completely overwhelmed by so many things this last month and that I needed to take it easy, as I have had contractions here and there, but I didn't know I was dilated to a 3, or that one of the baby's feet was poking out!

The next thing I knew I was being strapped down to a gurney by four or five nurses, clothes being stripped off, while Ryan and I both start crying. They start poking me with needles in each bum, each arm, and thumb (ok, not my thumbs, just trying to rhymn! :)) and I was lucky enough to even be given my first ever... cathater! Boy was that intense! Yet, it was nothing compared to what I was going to experience next...

I was then loaded onto an ambulance and driven to the Pocatello Airport where I was tightly packed onto a six seater jet plane and life flighted to Salt Lake City. The airplane ride over was probably the scariest thing ...ok it WAS the scariest thing I have ever experienced besides not knowing if I was going to loose these babies.

After loading the plane and taking off, I realized how much I HATE to fly, especially in small planes! The turbulance and air pockets we hit were so bad I just knew we were going to be on the front page of the morning news the next day. Luckily, they gave me oxygen to try and calm me down as I stopped breathing dozen of times... and they had to keep telling me, I HAD to breathe, or these babies would be born on the plane!

We finally landed on the earth's solid ground and I don't think I have ever been more relieved in my whole life! I was then loaded onto another ambulance. And as it zips down the streets, I think, "Well, this will make for an interesting post." haha! :) I was joking the whole way to the hospital with the nurses and EMT's on board. I told them, "Well it's a blessing I have a nifty cathater on, as I would have peed my pants on the plane ride and made a terrible mess!" Joking around helps me relax, so I sure was making a fool of myself... it was great! :)

So now I am here, in Salt Lake, at the University of Utah Hospital. Ryan's mom was able to drive up to be with me as I told Ryan to stay home and go to school. Our kids are with my parents, and I know they will take good care of them, but I miss them already!

Anyway they were able to get my contractions to stop and we have managed to keep the babies inside for now. I am exactly 23 weeks today, I guess I am a little off on my time chart on the side of my blog. I will have to stay in Utah on bedrest for the next two to three months or until these babies come, (hopefully not too soon) only getting up out of bed to go pee! Utah's hospital is better equipped to take care of the twins if they were to be born this early. They have a better chance of survival here rather than in Pocatello. So for now, I am just to take it day by day.

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Thank you all for your love, support and prayers!

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We also wanted to FINALLY report what we are having! Most of you know that at 13 weeks we knew one was a BOY!!! You can imagine how excited we are to be getting a BOY, especially Ryan. And I am happy to report that he is still showing to be ALL BOY!! ;)

We were pretty confident the other one was a girl, but didn't know for 100% sure that it was, and I guess technically there is no 100% sure way to know until they are actually born!

The other baby is....

(drumroll, please....)

A GIRL!!!!

We are super excited to be having another girl as we LOVE our girls!!!

So those of you 23 people that voted a boy and a girl- YOU ARE RIGHT! Those that voted something else, well YOU ARE WRONG! haha. Better luck next time...not on our blog of course! It would have to be someone else's! ;)

Chore Chart

I have been working on a Chore Chart for Madisen this last weekend, (it's about time she started helping with rent! haha. jk) and I think it turned out pretty good. I always have a picture of what it is that I want to accomplish or what I want it to look like but it seems like my projects never turned out exactly how I viewed them in my head. Hmmm...well this one came close! So I thought I would share.

I wanted a chart that could be interactive, simple and also fun with pictures. I also wanted a chart that would last a long time that I could use over and over again each month and with each kid. (That's if it doesn't get too banged up by the last child!) So this is what I came up with:

Everything is laminated, so it won't tear. I didn't want to overwhelm Madi with too many chores or chores that might be too hard for her, so I thought 7 was a good number. And some of them really aren't even chores, just more like things she can now start doing by herself, without help from mom and dad.

Everything is velcro; the month, stars, chores, her name, and the little girl. They can all be replaced with other months or chores in the future. I put a list of chores that she has to complete down the side, and everytime she gets it done, she can put a star next to the picture on whatever day it is. At the bottom of the poster board I am going to make and attach some velcro pouches to hold the other months of the year and a little pouch to hold all the stars so she can reach in and grab them herself. (I ran out of velcro to finish the rest of the week with stars, so I need to get more.)

We haven't quite figured out what we are going to do for a reward system, we have been thinking about giving her a certain amount of money for every day/ week she does it. That way she learns more about using money, savings and tithing. Anyone have any suggestions?? Those with older kids, what do you do?

"The Funnies!"

Those that have read my blog for long time, have probably realized I love posting cartoon comics, or what I like to call, "the funnies" (which is what my dad and I call it). Growing up my dad and I would race to the paper every Sunday morning just to see who could get their hands on the comic section first. Of course being the nice dad he was, he always let me read it first or we would read them together. I love those memories. I still love reading them and they always give me a good laugh! I thought since Ryan has had a long week in school and studying a lot lately some jokes were in need.

The Easter Bunny came to our house!

On Saturday we had an Easter Egg hunt in our backyard with the girls. We were going to have my parents over too or go up to Rexburg for Easter but they both came down with Bronchitis a few days earlier, so we decided to have just our own Easter Egg hunt in the back yard, which turned out to be really fun! Wendy and Jerry (Ryan's aunt and uncle) were able to come over to watch the girls and to have lunch with us that afternoon. It is always nice to spend time with them.

Here are some pictures of the girls on the prowl! Jerry video taped the girls running around finding their eggs. The Easter bunny made it easy for the girls. He Conveniently put a "M" for Madi and the letter "A" for Avery on each of the eggs. ;) Madi found two eggs right away!

Avery at first just wanted to play, until we pointed out several eggs...

then she took off! She caught on real fast and started running to each egg she saw, putting it in her basket.Madi finding her eggs.
Avery's eggs were spread out in the same little area so she would just run from one egg to the other.

Avery digging in! Yum! Chocolate! Mom's favorite!

I love this time of year. Obviously Easter is more then eggs and the Easter bunny. It's a time to remember our Savior, and his atonement and resurrection. He was crucified for us but rose three days later and we have the same promise that we can be resurrected and live with him again someday. I am grateful for that knowledge, and the blessing of being a member of His true church on the earth today. Here's a video clip that I thought I would share from Youtube, by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpFhS0dAduc

We hope everyone had a great Easter!

Computer Games

Ryan doesn't have a lot of time to himself, as he is always gone to school, studying, or helping out with the kids and chores around the house. But every once in awhile he finds a hour or so to play a computer game. This past month Ryan and I have been playing a computer game together called, Mafia. I am not into computer games like he is, but I do enjoy it when I get to spend time with him in something he enjoys. As you can imagine, Mafia is kind of violent, as you have to go on missions, and you shoot people, but we just play for fun and enjoy solving things together.

On saturday I found Ryan and Avery playing a computer game together and I just had to snap a few pictures.

Avery looks REALLY into the game...doesn't she?

"Hey Mom. You caught us! We're just playing together."

"Ok. Real quick, smile for Mom..."

Poster Pictures

I did this huge Family Proclamation board for our family for Christmas, and I also did one for my parents (not quite as big, but pretty much the same thing). I did a poster, with the saying "I am a Child of God" for both of our girls and one for my nephew, Colton. I have had a few people ask me the last few months, if I had them made, or if I made them or how I got them. So I thought I would share it on my blog for those interested.

There's a company called Heritage Makers, that I actually joined months ago, but it didn't work out. Yet, I still had a membership to do digital scrap booking with the company around Christmas time. So I made these as gifts. There's all sorts of fun stuff you can either make yourself from scratch or copy another persons design and make it your own. You can make digital scrapbooking pages, books, cards, posters and tons more! That's how I made these posters, through Heritage Makers. If anyone wants to look into it just go to their website, http://www.heritagemakers.com/

Family Proclamation- this one is 24 inches by 18 inches.



You can't see the posters very well in these pictures. They are kind of blurry and don't show their names really well. These posters are 17 inches by 11 inches.

Avery's poster turned out a bit too light. I should have chosen a different picture, but it's still cute.

My nephew Colton's turned out the best I think! I love the different shades of red in it.

First Sisters, Forever Friends.

Watching some cartoons in the early morning hours together. They always sit right by each other, often times (like in this picture) almost on top of one another.

When it's too cold to go out, Dad becomes their playground. The girls are constantly climbing and balancing on daddy. They love it, and I think he does too!

Madisen and Avery love going to Grandma and Grandpa's house (what grandkid doesn't!?) There, they get spoiled with lots of attention and treats! They also have "cooler" toys. My mom saved a lot of toys and has bought many more for the grandkids. She saved this barbie stuff from when my sisters and I were little, and Madi found the stash. I had to get a picture of this as this WAS the first time she has ever played with barbies. It didn't last long however, because as she was going through all the stuff she found a slinky and a snake that became WAY more "cool" than all the barbie stuff.

My girls, especially Avery loves bubbles. In fact the last few days that's the first thing she asks for when she wakes up! "Bubbles, peeese! Bubbles!" She knows exactly where they are kept and heads straight for the fridge while excitedly pointing and repeating, "bubbles peeese! Bubbles!" Makes me laugh.

One day I caught Madi and Avery sitting together. Madi was reading a book to Avery and they both seemed fully engulfed in it, as if nothing I did or could have said tempted them away from it! I thought oh, that's so cute. As I walked over to see what she was saying exactly and what she was reading, I couldn't help but laugh as the book she was reading was, "The Borne Identity", by Robert Ludlum. Must have been a interesting story! :)

These are just some cute pictures I took of them the other day, playing in the laundry basket. Madisen is very compassionate and worries about others feelings.
Sometimes Ryan and I will be joking around with Madi, and say stuff like, "Let's go to the store. Should we leave Avery at home?" Which then Madi will hysterically reply, "Avery wants to come too! We can't leave her."

Avery is our little sharer. We will give her a snack and she will come back empty handed, always giving her snack away to someone else.

I am grateful Madisen and Avery play so well together. They rarely fight and spend hours a day laughing, running around, pretending to cook, reading and just enjoying each other's company. Madi never asks anymore if someone can come over to play with her, because she and Avery play so well together. I am glad I had them pretty close in age, as they can entertain each other without constantly needing me. I know they will always be great friends.