15th Rental Truck

We moved again! 

We sold our beautiful house on Silver Creek Way... 

You are probably wondering, what are our plans now? Well, there is a newer subdivision in our ward boundary and the lots are all 1 acre or more. Ryan and I found a lot that would suit our family well and the price was great for 1 acre. So we bought the lot back in October with the idea that we would build a new house someday. 

I am going to miss my kitchen! I loved it! It was so open and big.

We are going to miss that house, and mostly our neighbors and the neighborhood. We love the neighborhood, but the house layout was just not working for us. We could have lived there a bit longer than we did and been ok, but the market is so good right now in Twin that we thought it would be best to sell now and make a profit on our house, than to lose money on it. So that's what we decided to do. We sold it, "For Sale by Owner" not thinking it would sale too fast, but within 5 months it sold! We are very happy it did and sold for what we were asking, which was such a blessing! The family that bought it are really good friends with the Clarks, the family that lives across the street, who we always pulled practical jokes on one another. We will miss the Clarks! And all of our great ward members that we lived so close to. We are renting a duplex and it's just down the street and around the corner from our old house, so we aren't far, but it's still not ever going to be the same.

This being our 15th move since being married, we were able to pack up our house and garage and clean the entire house in 3 days and be moved in and be unpacked in this place in 3 days. So 6 days wasn't too bad, and we rested on the 7th ;). This move really did me in though. I realized that I am so done with moving!!! 

We want to start building by Oct/Nov of this year so the house should be done by May/June next year. So hopefully the house we plan to build will be our house that we live in forever, because I am done with packing, unpacking, cleaning and moving! I don't plan on renting one more moving truck, EVER after that! :)

Here's our "home" for the next year and a half, while we get our plans ready for the building process...

Front Door

Living room

Kitchen/walk out to mudroom and garage...

Kid's Bathroom

Avery and Emily's room

 Madisen's Room

Laundry

Office/Craft Room/ Exercise Room!

 Our Bedroom

Our walk-in closet and bathroom

Our New House!

For the past 8 months we have been living in a small, two bedroom, 950 square foot apartment. Which wasn't terrible...

No. I take that back. It was. Terrible.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful or too good for an apartment, we have lived in apartments almost all of our married years together. So we are definitely not above apartment living. But at times it was very depressing and hard.

It was hard not having a yard so the girls could run out and play.

It was hard telling the girls that half their toys and books were in storage because there was no room for them in our apartment.

It was hard always telling the girls they couldn't run or jump or yell or even laugh too loud (many of you know what that is like) because we had neighbors below us, and next to us that would hear us.

It was hard not being able to wash a load of clothes if I needed to, or run the dish washer past 10pm at night so we could have dishes in the morning for breakfast.

It was hard not having all my kitchen stuff and dishes because there were only 3 cabinets to store them in.

It was hard, at times.

It felt like a prison....at times.

In fact, last week we went back to the apartment to clean and get a few more things out after moving into our new home and jokingly told the girls we were moving back to the apartment. You probably can't even guess what the girls did?!

Madisen and Avery started to bawl! They literally bawled their eyes out! Tears coming down their faces and all. Then we told them we were joking.

Mean joke to play on a 3 and 6 year old, huh?

It was obviously a prison to them as well.

8 long months we served out our sentence there. :)

It may not seem like it, but I would always try and count my blessings through it all. Especially at times when I would hear the horrible stories of people losing their homes to fires, tornadoes in the south (which is even closer to home to us, than before) or the earthquake in Japan. It's so easy to count your blessings when things like that occur and you realize what's most important, your family. And on those days, I would count the apartment twice.

We also CHOOSE to live in an apartment. We didn't have to, but we knew it was for the best. Because in order for us to get out of debt as fast as possible we had to live as frugally as possible for those 8 months. We got all our debts paid off, except for our student loans which will take another 3-4 years. So for the short (and seemingly long) time we were living in that apartment, "prison", I will be forever grateful we did, as it feels TEN times better being out of credit card debt.

We moved into a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2,200 square foot home last Saturday and what a difference it has made in our children's moods and also Ryan and I. We are loving our new home and plan to live here for 3-4 years. (I should clarify...we did not buy this home, we are just renting it, but it is new to us!)

So here it is folks: Pictures of our home.

We gave our new house a mini face lift this last weekend. We cleaned up the yard and trimmed all the bushes and trees and it looks so much better. 

This is our favorite room of the house...

 decorating still in progress...

 This is the front door entry way. I found this bench at Good will and painted it brown and also bought flowers and sticks at the $1 store and made the plant sitting next to the bench. I painted the mirror a dark brown color to match the bench.

 cost me $8 to make this, I really liked how it turned out.

 we put all our shoes in the bench.

This next room is actually the "dining room" but we turned it into a play room instead. The girls love it!

The master bedroom we painted before we moved in. It was a dark forest green with stenciling of leaves all along the top wall, so we painted the room a brownish color to match all the decorations.

This is the master bathroom, has two sinks and two walk-in  closets for him and her! We are going to put in new counter tops eventually. 

The kids/guest bathroom

 The kitchen...

The office/craft room

Sorry these pictures are jumping around a little bit....here is the backyard. A shed out back.

The girls' room. Emily waking up from her nap.

Another fun craft project I did after moving in was, I have wanted a fake tree for a long time, but if you buy one new they are like $70-$150!!  Well I found this nasty tree at a yard sale for $5. At first I thought, ewww, why did I just buy this nasty tree? I just threw away 5 bucks! But the more I thought about it, I thought I could fix it up. The tree was in sad shape. It even smelled funny.  I scrapped off all the old bark and I bought textured paint and painted the bark a nice brown color. After it dried, I scraped some of it back off so it showed a variety of colors and textures. Then I spray painted the basket part, dark brown. I fixed the tree ,so it wouldn't lean over as much by stuffing objects inside the holes. I took out all the old moss and replaced it with new green moss. And then lastly, cleaned the leaves-one by one and sprayed Fe-breeze all over it. 

 Gross huh?

Now what once was a sad, depressed tree.... Is FULL of life! All for under 15 dollars!

 Much better!

We are so grateful for this home and we know Heavenly Father answered our prayers. This home is in a great neighborhood and school district for our girls. After much sacrifice comes great blessings! And we feel so blessed to have this home for our family. 

Perseverance.

(This post touches on some sensitive issues, deep personal feelings and experiences, and my beliefs. I don't often open up and share things like this because I don't want to make people feel awkward or think ill of me. But then I realized, it's MY blog. MY space to write anything I want. And if they don't like it, then that's fine. They can go somewhere else and not have to read it. Sometimes it takes me a lot longer than most to learn these things. ;)

Perseverance.


Something I need to work on.


Something I want to be better at.


Something I want to be stronger in.




This coming Sunday Ryan and I have been asked to give talks in the Spanish sacrament meeting, which to be honest, I was not too thrilled, as I just gave a talk a month ago in our sacrament meeting.  There is only one ward here in Hunt county which consist of many small towns and cities within a 30 mile radius of Greenville. Well a small part of the ward members are Spanish speaking members so they have their own sacrament meeting the same time we do, just down the hall. Since Ryan speaks Spanish they will have an interpreter for me. The topic that was chosen for us to speak on, "Perseverance". 

"Perseverance is demonstrated by those who keep going when the going gets tough, who don’t give up even when others say, “It can’t be done.”' James E. Faust

It has made me think about the last few month since moving here to Texas. It's been hard, yet, I am learning more about myself and trying to be a better mother, friend, wife and person. I am trying to work on my short comings and weaknesses to make them stronger. But to be honest, it's been hard to change what I haven't acknowledge or pushed down. I have already share some of these feelings with two good friends of mine. I thought it might be good for me to share it on the blog too, because we, as women, moms, humans, all struggle with demons in our lives and to know that you or I -is not alone in this fight is very encouraging and hopeful.

It's been hard adjusting to Texas and this new ward. It feels like we have been picked up by a space ship, dropped from space and have landed in a completely new world! And no amount of preparation prepared me for the impact.


I have been struggling a lot lately with loneliness and homesickness. So much so, that lately I feel like I am turning into a sloth. I feel incredibly tired and everything is in s-l-o-w motion. I feel at times I simply want to give up and just sleep the next few years away until we can move back to Idaho-our home. But I KNOW that's not what I really want to do or should do. I KNOW I need to live life to the fullness no matter what my circumstances are (which really, they aren't THAT bad. I know it may sound like I am in the depths of despair! But I am not.). 


I have had little to no desire to cook, clean sometimes, do activities with the kids, craft, scrap book, call friends, blog, exercise...nothing. I am tired all the time and take a nap almost everyday. I just have no energy or motivation but yet I feel irritable and anxious a lot, which I hate feeling that way. I get little sparks of energy or enthusiasm throughout the day, but it only last 
an hour or so and I am back in "bed" hiding from the world.


Well, I guess I wasn't "hiding" well enough! ;) Because I had one friend call me out on it in an email....


"...I figured something was wrong, I kept checking your blog every day and nothing was popping up. . . i knew something was up!!"


Uh, oh! Caught. haha.


Thought I could just hide and bury my struggles and eventually they would just go away on their own... Right?


So I had to acknowledged that I needed help. I needed advice. I needed validation. I needed an honest opinion. I needed sympathy. I needed a friend. To vent. To cry. I just needed all these things. And by opening up (although, I was at first completely terrified to do so) I was able to release some of my worries and struggles and get all these things without feeling too embarrassed or ashamed. And THAT felt great.


I have had TWO conflicting emotions...


1.- I feel so blessed. I literally count my blessing everyday.


-Ryan has a job. Not only that, but he has one that he enjoys. He loves to help people and it is a good living too. (There are so many without jobs and many don't like their jobs).
-We have health insurance(so many people don't).
-We have no major health concerns with Ryan or I or our children....at this time anyway.  (Again, so many people are struggling with a serious illnesses or health problems that make life really difficult for them and their family).
-One of the greatest blessings in our lives is being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.Having that knowledge and testimony that the church is true and living by the covenants we have made in the temple has blessed our family tremendously as many of you can testify as well.
-Another one of our greatest blessings in our lives is our family and dear friends. We have some of the best relationships in the world and don't take that for granted.
-I can stay home with my children and raise them which I have always felt is so important.
-We have been able to pay off a lot of debt.
-Ryan sees and deals with patients all day that have no family, no insurance, sometimes homeless and are on the verge of dying! How sad and humbling that is to me. Makes me want to take them all in and feed them!


Through all the good and blessings we have why is it then that I STILL feel ...
2. -depressed, lonely, trapped and sad?


Well, as I have been preparing my talk on Perseverance, boy have I had a eye-opening experience that leads me to thinking I am not persevering like the Lord wants me to do.


"Perseverance is a POSITIVE, ACTIVE characteristic. It is not idle, and doing just enough to get by(as I have let myself do over the past few months), hoping and waiting for good things to happen." 

While reading through a variety of talks I came across this paragraph by a talk given by Joseph B. Wirthlin, in 1987:

"Genius is only the power of making continuous efforts. The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it; so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it. How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success? A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed a hopeless failure may turn into a glorious success."


Wow. That is powerful. Something I needed to hear and something I want to work on. I have always thought I was one that didn't give up when things got tough. I have always known I am a daughter of God and have a special purpose on this earth, as all of us do, but this made me think even deeper about the meaning of perseverance. Could I persevere through something like what Job went through-losing everything? Or how about Nephi or Joseph Smith? Or the pioneers that crossed the plains? Or even well known people like Florence Nightingale, Abe Lincoln, Beethoven, Hellen Keller and countless others who persevered through some of the most difficult trials.


Of course, it's unlikey that most of us will have to face such trials and heartache as these well known figures had to do. But if we did, would we persevere or give up?


Here's another quote I liked:

 "Perseverance means to continue in a given course until we have reached a goal or objective, regardless of obstacles, opposition, and other counter-influences. What is our course, what is our goal, and what are the obstacles and opposition that would hinder or divert us?

Our course as members of the Church should be in agreement with the principles and ordinances of the gospel. Our goal should be to fill the measure of our creation as sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father—that is, to reach exaltation and eternal life. The obstacles and opposition we meet are the temptations and enticements of Satan that are designed to frustrate the Lord’s work and glory: “To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39)."

I got another email from this friend after I told her a little bit of how I was feeling and struggling with, she said (and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this), "Try to find out what you need to learn from this situation. . . maybe Heavenly Father wants you to become closer to him instead of always having a physical friend/family there."


Ah-ha! That's exactly right. 


I have prayed throughout my life that Heavenly Father will help me become the person I need to be and the person he needs me to be to further His work. Being here in Texas can either make me stronger as I learn to rely on Him more or give into the "temptations and enticements of Satan", who is always lurking around waiting to see if we will invite him in. He knows our weaknesses and makes it difficult for us to find our way. There's a saying/quote that I couldn't find but goes something like, When the door is opened the light enters, not the other way around. (anyone know it?)

We are going to be tested in this life. That's one of the main reasons why we are here on this earth. We knew it was going to be hard yet, we chose to come down, to get a body and it is how we persevere through it all that will determine what we have gained in the next life.
My friend also reminded me, "...It seems I am like that the most when my life is going really well. . .which I found odd, so I really searched myself and decided that it was Satan trying to ruin a good thing.  He is always trying to make us feel down. He tries to make us feel like we have to live up to everyone else's standards, that our self worth is based on how much we get done in a day..."


I am so grateful for wise friends! ;)


I am so grateful for prophets that lead us and guide us.


I am most grateful for a loving Savior that holds out his hand infinitely and shows me the light and way to go. And gives me opportunities to learn and grow as I have prayed to do. And contrary to belief, I am grateful for being asked, again, to talk in sacrament meeting:) . 

Our New (temporary and permanent) Home

First of all, Ryan came home from work yesterday and showed me this:

   If you can't tell what it is by looking at it, it's a doctor's prescription pad. And if you look closely Ryan's name is officially on it!! I know it's probably silly to be excited over, but silly nonetheless, He and I were doing a little victory dance in the kitchen together when he brought it home to show me! He can now write prescriptions!

Anyone in need??

Haha...JK!

    Obviously, we are stoked that he has a job. And a good job, for us. It took us a bit longer than most of his classmates to find a job. We kept praying and tried to be patient and have faith that we would find one perfect for us. And I know that through our patience and faith we found this job. It's in a rural area with many lower-income families, and also a high percentage of Spanish-speaking people. Ryan will be able to use his Spanish and help many that can't afford health insurance and have no way of paying for their medical bills. The job is great in another way too, in that it will pay back all our student loans! (Of course we have to commit to 4-5 years and if we come to love it here in Greenville, we might permanently call it, "home" and then convince our family in Idaho, Colorado, and Utah to move here too ;)). What a tremendous blessing! I have such a strong testimony of the importance of praying for the things your family is in need of, in order to bless not only your family but to use it to bless others around you. Although, we don't know very many people yet, we have felt that this is the place where we need to be; to grow, to learn and to meet new friends. Hopefully we won't have to learn anything too hard!  hehe. ;) But if we do, I say, "Bring it on!"...kidding, kind of. lol!

Sorry to get off on a spiritual tangent, (I just couldn't help it) I am just so very grateful for the many blessings in my life, for my testimony, and the gospel of Jesus Christ, that sometimes I just have to shout it!!! (This is me shouting!)

Anyway, off to tour our new "temporary" home...

 Front door area

 Front room and view of kitchen

 Another view of front door and hallway to girl's room.

 Living Room with our new couches...or new to us! Thanks Wendy and Jerry!!

 Dining area and kitchen

Master bathroom...attached is our room, but it isn't the cleanest right now, so you will just have to imagine our room and walk in closet. :)

 Girl's bathroom and there is also a laundry area just next to this bathroom.

Girl's room.

Yep. That's it. Our whole 950 sq. ft. home. It's going to be a little bit of an adjustment to get used to, as our old home was about 2,600 sq. feet. But home is where you make it, right? We will be living here for the next 6-9 months and then hopefully buying a house!