TaVaci Concert

Last night Madisen and Avery had their end of the year TaVaci concert. It was so fun seeing them up on stage dancing and singing. We were so proud of them. They are both really starting to come out of their shell more and are starting to find out what they like and don't like to do and I can see them both doing TaVaci for a long time. TaVaci is a singing/performing group that was started here in Twin 10+ years ago and the lady that started it just so happens to be in our ward. They sing all types of songs, from Hip Hop to Sound of Music. It's been awesome. Emily is excited to be able to join next year too!

Thinking of You...

It's been 4 years since you passed away, and a day hasn't passed that I haven't thought of you. A few people have asked me when you are brought up in conversations, if it makes me sad, and if it's too hard to talk about you. What I say is, yes it is sometimes sad and hard. But it's always a gift. Each conversation that I get to talk about you is a gift. Each time I get to say your name, is a gift. Each time I get to think of a memory of holding you, is a gift. I love that I have you as my son. I may not get to raise you on this earth, but I will never forget that you are my son waiting for us on the other side. And just so you know we had your named picked out years before you were even born as we always knew we were going to have a son named Ethan. We miss you and love you so much.

 A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook and tagged me in it and I just thought I would share it as this is exactly how I feel when Ethan is brought up...

"If you know someone who has lost a child and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that is a great gift. " Elizabeth Edward

I am grateful to those who bring up my son in conversation sometimes because they knew he lived and want to remember him and that is a great gift. He is as much a part of this family as any of our kids. Yes, we don't get to see him, or interact with him, but he is there with us all the time. 

Just yesterday I was talking to the girls about Ethan and Madisen got a little teary-eyed and said she misses him. Madisen never even got to meet Ethan but there is a loss there that she feels and also a proud-ness (if that's what you call it) too that she has a brother. And she knows he is looking over her.

I find the hardest question to answer is when people ask me how many kids I have. I always say silently to myself "four". Yet, sometimes it isn't always easy to tell that to others. And it always takes me a second longer before I able to answer that question, as many times I have the word "four" on my tongue, but the word, "ff-three" comes out instead. I say "three", mainly because I don't want to make people or the situation feel awkward, or for them to have to tell me they are sorry for my loss. So I hesitantly answer "ff-three". Three kids. But by saying that, it always makes me feel sad. Like I am leaving out a big part of my life.

So from now on when someone asks me how many kids I have, I am going to have the courage to say 4. Because to me, I have 4 kids. I don't need to go into detail about it unless asked further. But I have to say four from now on. It's too hard not to anymore. Because telling others I have four kids is a great gift. To Ethan and myself mostly.  


We love our little boy so much and we know we will get to see him again. 

Big Day for a Special Girl

This past weekend we had lots of family in town! It was great spending time with them. Dad and Trudy got in on Thursday night and we spent Friday with them visiting Shoshone Falls and going to an art museum. Emily and Madisen had school so it was just Avery who got to come and be with us. 

Beautiful view!

Aunt Wendy and Uncle Jerry came over from Pocatello to spend the night with us. We played lots of games, ate lots of food and hung out laughing till late at night.

The girls also read books to grandma and grandpa.

The morning of the baptism

Dressed in white, all ready to go!

Taken right before the program.

Madisen looked beautiful. It was her and 5 other kids that were getting baptized. A boy named Ethan from our ward along with 4 others fromthe stake. All the kids that were getting baptized were asked to come up and sing, "I am a Child Of God." They also did a spot-light on each one of them.

 Madisen was a foot-shorter than all the others, but she was by far the cutest kid up there! (Ok, so I might be a little bias!) The talk was given by Chris Jolly from our ward. And then President Walker shared a message and I thought both were excellent. The spirit was very strong and I hope others, especially Madisen, felt that same sweet spirit I did. After she was baptized my dad was asked to bare his testimony along with the other boy's grandpa from our ward and then both Madisen and Ethan were confirmed. Madisen was blessed with empathy for others and a desire to serve and always choose the right. It was a 

beautiful blessing. 

After the confirmations we headed over with family and friends to our church building for a luncheon and pictures!

 Madisen after being baptized, with two of her friends from the ward. Both of these girls are actually Avery's age but they both play with Madisen more. Macy, the one in the black dress is a week younger than Avery but went to Kindergarten this year. 

My sister took these next pictures of us and Madisen. I think they turned out cute! However, I wish I would have just taken the slip off that Madisen was wearing, as it kept poking out. But I knew that without it the dress might be itchy in spots. Oh well!

I love the back of her dress. Her favorite color is yellow and it looks perfect on her.

Me and my big Brother

Baby Audrey!

Who's the goofy kid?

Bishop and his wife, Debbie who has become the girls adopted grandma

Grandma Graf made this incredible book for Madisen for her Birthday/Baptism. 

My mom and Emily

Aunt Celeste made this sign for Madisen. So creative and such a great idea!

Avery kept stealing Grandpa Hodges glasses and wearing them around. 

She looks like a genius!

 Saturday night, we all were tuckered out, and went to have dinner at Sakura. A place where they make the meal right in front of you. It was pretty cool. Madisen and Avery freaked out and hid behind the chairs but Emily was "awe-ing", and "ooooh-ing" the whole time, just intrigued with the chef and what he was doing.

We had such a great weekend with everyone and were so glad our family could come out and be with us during this special day.