Progress is good...even if it's a little, right?

Madi has always been a bit shy, ok maybe "a bit" is quite an understatement, or maybe introverted is a better word to describe her. She has come a long way though, considering that usually anywhere we'd go...the doctor's office, the store, PLAY group, wherever she didn't know anyone, she would literary freak out, crying and clutching onto my legs so hard, as if I were going to feed her to the sharks! And believe me, during those frustrating moments I thought I could! ;) Do any of you EVER feel that way? I understand that many kids act that way, it's just part of childhood to be shy and hold back because of the unknown. I have seen many kids that way around strangers and some quite the opposite and both can be challenging! But this issue has always been a major challenge for me. She is doing better, for which I am so grateful! But she still has her moments, and although I have been through it countless times, I never seem fully ready for it. I just don't understand it, when she "freaks out" and possibly never will but I have learned to try not to draw attention to it. This is a challenge and makes me feel that my child and I come from two totally different planets. I love to talk as most of you would confirm. I will talk to anyone that will talk back or even those that don't. I am one of those so called people that talk in the line at the grocery store to everyone around me... I know, embarrassing right? So in my attempt to get Madi involved in more social settings where she could get to know other girls and maybe talk...even if it's a little; I decided to try my luck with putting her in tap/ballet lessons. (I know some of you haven't heard her talk much until recently).

Ryan and I have been talking about dance class for the last month with her, pumping her up for it. And all day long the day before dance, I talked her ear off about all the fun things she would be learning, her nice teachers, new friends, etc...

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Come morning we find out that one of my friends from our old ward, Kara, and her daughter, Sadie will be in the same class together! Yet, before signing Madi up, I came into this with no expectations. (Which is really hard for me to do. I always put all this emotional energy into things thinking, oh this will be so fun for Madi, and she will have the greatest time and just love it! Always having high expectations....I haven't learned this lesson apparently, because the so called activities that I always think Madi will love, ends up being the battle of the century and I come away feeling drained and irritated that she didn't join in on the fun.) So before my thoughts could get carried away into thinking this will be great, I had to remember that I came into this really having no expectations other then just getting to the dance class on time and dressed!

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So on the drive there, I continued my drilling on the events that would most likely take place; in an effort that it might help her but she seemed as calm or maybe just as oblivious as ever. I on the other hand, was feeling hesitant and nervous, the drilling was probably for my own sake, praying that she wouldn't put on a whole spectacle of screaming and hanging onto my legs for dear life.

So everyone arrives and there are about 10 girls in the class. However, before class starts someone "freaks out," AND guess what??!!

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It wasn't my child!!!!

Hooray!

Of course I did feel terrible for the grandmother as her granddaugter was the one freaking out, but can you imagine my excitement, as it wasn't my child this time!

As we were getting ready to leave, I turned to my friend, Kara and said, "Well, at least she didn't freak out."

I was unaware that Madi was paying any attention to me. A moment later she looked up at me with a seriousness in her eyes and a confirmation in her voice and said, "Yeah, at least I didn't freak out."

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oops.

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So although Madi didn't dance, (no expectation) at least she quietly sat down with the rest of the class, and when the class started dancing, she again, quietly watched. A few times I had to go in there with her, but overall it was a great experience! I know some of you might be thinking, but she didn't do anything?? But for my child being with strangers for an extended period of time without freaking out, this is progress!

We go again next week, and I am really trying hard not to expect anything more, but really, it can only get better from here, right? Or is that too much to expect?! ;)