Emily started preschool last Thursday and she was more than excited. To be able to go to school like Avery and Madisen makes her feel so big and special. I picked her up from her first day and all she talked about was her class, her teacher, what she ate during snack time, "...we had hass-bowns, and a bagel wif ceem ceese and duce and uh, ap-pole."-translation: "We had hash browns and a bagel with cream cheese and juice and an apple." She told me who was nice and mean too: "..all the gurls were nice and the boys were mean"-"girls". She also told me about her new friend, "...she is a gurl that is back."- "She is a girl that is black". She went on and on about her day and kept asking when she would get to go to school again.
Ryan decided to take her to school for her second day, so he could meet her teachers, see her classroom and see this cub-by of hers she told us about, where she gets to hang her backpack and coat. Emily was all ready to leave but Dad wasn't quite ready yet. And Emily said, "Come on Dad! Hurry! I need to go to school!"
The school she is going to is similar to Head Start Preschool, where Madisen attended preschool when we were living in Pocatello. It's a school for kids that have challenges/disabilities and need extra help. It will help Emily with her speech and she will receive one on one speech therapy lessons for 30 minutes a day to help her articulate her words and letters better. Emily scored above average on most tests, except for speech, which qualified her for getting free preschool and speech therapy through the state. What a blessing it is for us and Emily. She will attend school Monday thru Friday from 8:30 to noon everyday. I thought that would be too much for Emily, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Emily is ready for this new adventure and the smile that radiates on her cute little face just makes my heart melt. She is very determined and independent. And if she is going to do something she will do it and do it well, too.
Emily's forced smile.
I kept trying to tickle her so I would get her natural smile on camera not her forced smile...
s
apparently, she didn't like being tickled.
She gets to ride the bus to and from school everyday .
First time on a school bus.
After she got home, I asked her if she liked riding the bus.
She said, "Yep! And I did it, all -by- myself!"
The bus lady, Sherry, putting on Emily's seat belt. Emily waved at us and I tried catching it on camera, but no...
My camera is not equipped to take pictures when I want it to. It's always about 5 seconds too late. ;(
Driving away! Bye Button!
She is growing up WAY to fast. And I am having a lot of mixed feelings. What I can't get passed is this image, although it has faded with time, of this tiny, helpless baby in the incubator, hooked up to more devices and tubes than seems necessary for anyone so small. Here is my baby girl, that was born WAY too early-who doctors said she may not live, weighing just over a pound, who has gone through more physically than I have in my 30 years of life, and now she is old enough to be away from home-from me, going to school everyday?!
I am not sure if I am ready for all this. I guess it doesn't matter if I am ready or not, as it's already happening! I am excited for her though, and feel very blessed that she has this opportunity. It's just a sad/hard transition to make. Having no more babies at home to take care of! What on earth am I going to do!? A lot more time to myself! :) which in some ways will be nice, but it just makes me sad to know that that stage of life is over. I have heard many people tell me, "Just enjoy it!" Which I will, no doubt. But there's also a sadness to it, too. So just let me take a minute (or few) and mourn that stage of my life...before you tell me to enjoy it! Ok!!? (kidding :) Because honestly, I just want hold her and cuddle her in my arms, like she is still, that tiny, helpless baby.
Same goes with my other two girls.
Just last week I told Avery, as my arms were wrapped around her, squeezing her little body against me while lying on the couch, "Why don't you stay home from Preschool from now on and we can cuddle and kiss and hug all day!? That sounds like a great idea, doesn't it!?" Then planting 10 kisses on her face while tickling her, she laughs out loud and squirms while trying to tell me as seriously as she can between outbursts, "Mom, that is NOT...lol!... a great idea! I need....lol!....to go to school to learn and be smart...lol!"
I stop tickling her and say, "But you are smart!"
Avery looks at me and as calmly as she can, says, "I need to get smarter. So I have to go and learn more Mom." (Duh).
She is wise beyond her years, that one. They all are...because even Madisen upon hearing our conversation pipes up with interest and says, "I'll stay home from school today and cuddle and kiss and hug all day Mom!"
Haha. Funny!
Madisen knows all about a long day of school and I am sure she would love a break to be able to stay home with mom, even if it was to cuddle and kiss and hug all day. While Avery hasn't experienced a long grueling ;) day of school yet.
I honestly wish I could keep them all at home and stop this madness of growing up. Ryan and I are constantly threatening them that we are going to put a brick on their head if they keep growing on us! Of course they just laugh at us, because they think we are joking with them.
We're not.
I have already shopped around for bricks.
I now know how my parents felt as I was growing up and every parent. I wish I could take in every word they say, every look in their little faces, every movement they make and capture it all in a bottle, so I will never forget them. But the months and years have gone by since bringing each one of them home from the hospital. And when I try and recall Madisen's sweet two year old voice, or the cute funny face Avery used to pull to make us laugh, or Emily's first triumphant steps through the living room, I can't recall them with complete clarity and it makes me sad. Sad, that I can't pause time. Gosh, darn it. Why not?! ;) I wish I could bottle those moments in my bottle and savor all those moments and be able to take them out and relive them anytime I want. Those precious moments when you hear your child say, "Thank you", to their sibling for helping them open their snack wrapper. And the other one responding right back, "You're welcome." Or hear them laughing together at some random made up joke of theirs.
It's in those little moments that I wish I could pause time and just soak it all in. They are what I call, "Tearjerker" moments. So while pushing back the tears, I proudly tell them, "Thank you for treating each other so kind and for helping each other out. That makes mommy so happy. I am so proud of you both."
Like I said, they are "moments", because if you were at my house right this very moment, this would not be one of those moments I would capture in my "bottle." Madisen: Mom! Avery is not playing with us the right way! She is being mean!"
Sigh* Oh, brother!
(("Just a minute!!"))
Maybe this new stage will be pretty good after all. ;)
4 comments:
what a sweet post!! Emily is just amazing and what a great oppurtunity for her!!
That was a cute post, babe. I is very hard to thing these kids are growing up at such a fast rate, and trying to hang on to those memories is so hard! We need to take more videos I guess to preserve the memories, not only for us , but for them too when they are older and telling "we never did that!" Then we have concrete proof they were as silly as we said they are!
Love you babe!
That was so cute to see the pictures of the your little princesses. I can't believe they're getting soooo big!
There was a song in the 70's called "Time in a bottle" that expressed these emotions (it was a love song though) but with the same feeling. I know how you feel - those bitter-sweet moments where life transitions. I'm glad you are enjoying this time with them because it does go by quickly and then your babies have babies. Sigh. I am so excited for Emily and her new found independence that will help with her speech. I know adjustment is difficult for parents. Trust me, I was a mess. Thank you for sharing these sweet moments in time.
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