I survived... (barely)

This story that I am sharing is a true story.

Rated: E, for everyone

Warning: This post is the longest post I have ever written, so before proceeding you might want to use the restroom, maybe grab some chips and of course make yourself as comfy as usual.

This post also contains the following:

-No profanity

-Mild "mean" words, ex: dumb, stupid

-Mild exaggeration

-Moderate amounts of bad jokes

-Moderate graphic images

-Heavy sarcasm

-Heavy attempt at humor...

After posting that "embarrassing" picture of my cute girls' bums next to the bathtub, my friend, Andrea, shared an idea with me that I should start a TAG where each person tagged has to share an embarrassing story of themselves. (I know, you are all just jumping for joy, right?) Since I am starting this TAG, it would be only fair for me to share one myself, plus I said earlier I would share one, sometime. (What was I thinking then...? I have no idea!) I have many embarrassing stories, as many of you probably do too. I will share just one, (if that's possible as many of my embarrassing moments mingle together with others). This is not something I wish I had "many" of. I can laugh about it all now, but I mean, why couldn't I have had, "many" of something else growing up...like, "many" tennis championships (or at least one!), or "many" HOT dates, or even better, "many" talents! I had a friend once tell me I should compile a book with all my embarrassing moments. I know I am not the "sharpest tool in the shed" or whatever, but please, I want to be left with some dignity, if after posting this I have any left at all! jk! ;)

To set the stage for the story I have to share a few facts first. I was 13 years old...ok, maybe 15, but who's counting! ;) This sadly, would have made me a sophmore in HIGH school. My sister, April was then around the age of 10. We were shopping with my mom at the local Albertson's near our home. April and I were complaining and whining as we thought we were just going to the store for a few things. Of course my mom's over-bulging coupon book and zest for sales always had a different plan. April and I (ok, mostly me) were getting restless and impatience walking up and down the aisles looking for the exact brand name pictured on the coupon, which seemed to me a waste of time, as it only saved 10 cents in the end, but as my mom would say, "ten cents over hundreds of times can save you thousands of dollars!" That was exactly how my mom would state things. (Yes, I understood that concept, but was a common selfish teenager, and I just wanted to get home. Now as I have grown up and hopefully I have become a bit more mature; and as a parent living off student loans, and trying to provide for my family in this crazy economy, I am so grateful for her lessons on thriftiness! Thanks mom!) Savings. That word alone, makes my mom most excited, watching the total amount of the bill plummeting lower and lower as each coupon is scanned and if something happened to ring up a penny more than the sale price in the paper, Albertson's policy being, you get that item for FREE! SO you bet my mom would be intensely watching the price of every scanned item, to make sure it was right. And if it rang up wrong she would practically jump on the cashier, chanting the correct price and beaming with utter delight, as if she had just won a trip to Disney World, rather than a box of noodles. Then racing home all too excited in anticipation to get my dad to guess at how many FREE items she got and the total amount that she saved for our family...!! Priceless.

Yet, this particular shopping trip, I guess you could say I was being a pain in the bum! Yes, that's right. Aggravating my mom enough, she told me to take my sister and go out to the car as it was still unlocked and wait for her there. At the time my parents owned the oldest and ugliest cars in all Boise! This made life a bit interesting for me and my siblings as we would constantly duck behind bushes or hide behind buildings if we ever saw one of them approaching. Then as casually as we could without drawing any attention to us, we would literary jump through the side door, while sliding down in between the seats hoping no one saw us while yelling at my mom or dad to step on it! Of course if my parents had a motto in life while raising us, it would have been one of two things:

OR

What was even more embarrassing was seeing how proud my dad was of his '84 Bright Blue Chevy Suburban. My mom drove a '89 Plymouth sky-blue minivan (as seen below) that came all-included with a nice shade of bluish-gray smoke that when the engine was turned on, the surrounding fresh air would be perfumed with a burning oil scent and covered in this thick bluish-gray fog. All this would be coming from a 2-inch exhaust pipe, shooting out a BIG gust of this fog every time you hit the gas or had to stop. (It produced as much smoke as a drag racing car, but without all the bells and whistles of a fast, nice, and expensive "race" car).

Whenever I was in the minivan, I just prayed that the approaching traffic light would remain green because if we had to stop, it felt like every pair of eyes within a 1/2 miles radius would be staring directly at ME and those that weren't, yet, were in the process of searching for the "dumb" people and their "dumb" car that was making so much pollution and stinking up their own cars! (But my parents had a way of reminding us daily of, "how good we have it").

**Ok so now that I have given you a brief history of my family, I will again proceed to telling you my story... (sorry I get pretty worked up! haha)

Leading the way to our dreadful minivan, April initiated shotgun before me, leaving me in the back seat alone with my sulking thoughts. After sitting there in silence for a few minutes just impatient to get home, I noticed a package of hundreds of minature size stickers laying on the floor by the back seat. I picked them up and gradually starting peeling the stickers off, one by one, sticking them all over the back of the seat of the row in front of me. I continued to pull off each sticker and place it strategically on the leather bound seat until they were all gone. (I can't tell you what drove me or motivated me into doing this, but did it nonetheless). As there were no more stickers to contribute to my masterpiece; as it was covered and decorated in little stars, smiley faces and miscellaneous thingamajigs, I sat back marveling my creation. Just then my sister, who I almost forgot was in the car with me, quietly but with confusion in her voice said, "Christy, when did mom start drinking Coke and Pepsi?"

The question took a moment to register in mind, as I was still is a daze, remembering where I was exactly, while the guilt started sweeping over me as I realized what I had just done to the back of the now decorated seat. After what seemed to be hours instead of seconds, I answered a little more annoyed then I should have, "What do you mean? You know mom and dad don’t drink that stuff." As soon as the words slipped out, I remember cringing as it always seemed that my mouth was quicker than my mind. Trying to cover myself I blurted out, "Why?!"

After a long pause,"Well," April starts... "It's just that there are five empty bottles of Coke and Pepsi on the floor up here by the driver's seat..."

At that moment without giving my body permission, it flew into the air, jumping over the middle seat. I sat up and stared down at the Coke products and other items that drew my attention. April and I looked around the car only for a moment both realizing the same thing at the exact same moment, and in a second we were both yelling, "OH MY GOSH! THIS ISN'T OUR CAR!!!" (In my defense, I couldn't tell the difference as there was no bluish-gray smoke covering the sky around the vehicle). We quickly jump out and shut the doors as nonchalantly as we possibly could, not wanting to draw any attention to us, (it seemed I was having bad luck with that).

We looked across the parking lot and spotted another sky-blue minivan knowing sure enough that was our dreadful minivan. We both raced toward it and as soon the doors are closed, a roar of laughter emerged from us and we started rolling in our seats. As we were laughing about what just happened, we were a little nervous as we noticed a family coming out of the store, heading straight for the minivan we were just occupying. More than ever before, I wished it was my mom coming out of the store instead. As we are crouched low in the seats of our minivan, April and I took sneak peeks out the window, and watched them load their van with groceries. At first, everything was going fine. They didn't suspect anything. What a relief! Then we saw the mom and obviously her fine looking son (roughly around the age of 16 or 17) start talking to each other with confused looks on their faces. They both then proceeded to turn 360 degrees around in their spot with intense searching eyes. As if caught in the headlights the boy spotted our minivan and me staring right back at him. He gestured to his mom and she nodded.

"OH NO! Tell me this isn't happening?!"

Right then, a flood of emotions, from panicking to humiliating washed over me. I tried to act as cool and as normal as I could. I pretended not to notice that he was walking over and when this cute boy came over to our van, knocked on the passanger window where I was sitting, I looked up with as much surprise on my face as I could possibly muster, slowly opening the door, and very politely said, "Can I help you?"

He stared back in astonishment, (from the look on his cute face he was probably thinking, not only was I the most awkward teenager he had ever seen, but confirming his suspicions' as he knows full well that I was pretending not to know why he is there, as I am a terrible liar) he asked, "Were you just in our car?" already knowing the answer, I was sure!

"Uh, ir..ya, I am sorry....You see my sister, thought it was our van, she gets confused a lot."

He looked puzzled for a moment then walked away. April chewed me out for making her look bad, which she had every right to, but seeing as how cute he was and me being just a year or two younger, I didn't want to look bad, and I thought she could afford to look bad as she was only ten. (I was a terrible, no good sister, I know! Sorry Apes!)

April and I sat there nervously laughing at each other. I wish I could say that the story stops there, and my mom gets to the car and we leave! Yet, not even two minutes later this cute boy started walking back to our van. He again knocked on the window, and not having much time to compose myself, awkwardly said, "Yes?"

He reached out to grab my hand and automatically my heart rate increased, (I must have been expecting something else, what that was, I have no idea!) then he put in my cupped hand a huge wad of sticky paper. "These must be yours," he said. It hit me like a ton of bricks, the stickers! Ugh! I am so stupid!!! What I really wanted to say was, "Actually they are yours...and do you want to take me out on a date when I turn 16?" Ha, fat chance of that happening.

As embarrassing as that was, I am glad April and I can look back at this and many other embarrassing and funny memories together and laugh. I survived through my awkward teenager years as the rest of us have too. We all have embarrassing moments and awkward times. I still have an occasional flashback of those, though they are fewer in number. ;) But that's what makes life so fun and interesting!

Now with all joking and sarcasm aside, I also want to say, (if I haven't said enough already! haha!) that I think my parents are amazing! My parents have taught me so much and are truly my best friends. I hope I can be half the parent/person they are to my own kids. They constantly make me laugh, are always there for me and really truly care about me and everyone. They always go above and beyond the call of duty in everything they are involved in. They have helped countless people, many of which have no clue as they both love to leave things anonymously at door steps or in the mail. :) I love that my dad is more than willing to take time to hang out with us and laugh with us. He has such a sense of humor and was also the guy that always stopped for those that were broken down on the side of the road. My mom, she is so selfless. I honestly can't recall her ever needing anything or buying anything for herself. She always puts everyone first. I love my mom and dad so much!

Again, sorry for such a long story and lengthy post, I did warn you! I am not going to TAG anyone, as many of you don't like to do tags and that's just fine. If, however, you feel the inclination to share one of your embarrassing moments, I would LOVE to read about it!!! I love a good laugh! So please let me know!